In the Midst of Life

One of my favorite books when I was a little girl was the Velveteen Rabbit. When Mr. C. was little I would read it to him every night and the hope was that he would learn to love reading. He would stop me at the same point every night and ask me to read over again. '

"'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” ( Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit)

 I did and to this day, he still remembers the book. I do not read to him anymore, not like I did but I cherish those little moments. I smile when I think about it and during those stressful moments in life its often enough to calm the storm brewing inside.

I look to God for my strength through this journey, I have moments when I falter though try as I may not to. I am human and I have feelings. I have taught Mr. C. that his feelings are very important and that no one has a right to tell him how to feel or that his emotions are not important.  When life gets too much for me, I turn to God because he is my refuge in all of this craziness of life. He understands above all and even though I have no idea on a lot of things, he does.

Mr. C. is has amazing knack for telling jokes, he has a wonderful smile one that lights up the room. he has dimples on both sides of his cheeks and the only time you really see them is when he laughs or smiles. He doesn't like tags in his clothes, doesn't like the water, is afraid of the dark and glass elevators. Mr. C. likes certain foods and does not deter from his regular diet very much. He prefers Tyson chicken nuggets, hot dogs, chocolate milk, soda, popcorn, apples, grapes, watermelon and french fries. He prefers his vegetables frozen and the doctor said fine to that. He does not eat when its hot outside, as he says "I would like to drink my lunch today."

He does not like anyone in his personal space without fair warning, does not like to be hugged or touched. He prefers distance, sort of reminds me a safe protective bubble. Where no one can hurt him or reach him and I understand that as much as I can. Eye contact has improved over the years for that I am thankful. He is an amazing artist, he loves to draw especially cars. With Mr. C. one needs to give him advance notice if there will be a change to his routine, which is usually an hour sometimes more.

My parents have been a big help with so many aspects of Mr. C. Knowledge is power and so is experience. The school district has caused me more sleepless nights and more stress for Mr. C. than is acceptable or necessary. How much can one person endure or more to the point how much stress can my child deal with?  After years of bullying, the decision was finally made that Mr. C. would be better in a classroom  with a teacher, a teacher's aide and other children with the same challenges.

The frustration that we have endured as a family is tiny compared to all of the amazing gains Mr. C. has accomplished. He now rides the escalator without hesitation and he even gives me positive motivation on how I should just hold onto the bar and it will be okay. I just stand there amazed and happy that he overcame this obstacle that once held him back.  As I always tell Mr. C. if you look close enough the dark clouds have a silver lining, sometimes if you do not pay attention you might miss it.